Ah yes… Incredible India. Don’t get me wrong I am as pro-India as it is humanly possible by me to be BUT my recent experiences (highly common occurrences you will see) begs the question…is every part as incredible as we would like it to be?

I took a small little weekend day trip to Mysore and areas in the vicinity because - brace yourself- I have been living as an outcast for over a decade now – I’ll explain! I have never been to Mysore or their zoo or to Brindavan Gardens before July 2011. Yes! It’s true, while I have had the good fortune to see many places, these were not some of them, and so many times I would find myself being asked this and then being reacted to with a “what??!! you have never been??” like I had just said I have married an alien or something! Whatever… so I shed my outcast status at last and took the much spoken about tour of places to see in and around Mysore…Well the good news is I saw what could have been the last few tigers of our species or generation that I might live to see – side note – they seemed horribly weak and miniaturized by their enclosures, even if MS Dhoni and the likes have adopted them, and well I just found myself choke up a bit when I saw them! The bad news– I shudder to report – is that it appears that people on the road have no necessity to ever answer natures call. Again I’ll explain. The chances of you finding a usable loo is about as likely as me finding a cure for cancer as I write this post (sadly it did not happen).

The real question is ... why? If you are going to have a restroom some place, wouldn’t anyone enjoy using a clean, odor-free one?? I mean do I have to be educated and from the ‘city’ to earn the privilege of four walled stalls WITH a ceiling I might add and functioning apparatus?? Is that really the last thing people think of organizing when setting up events, restaurants, tours..etc.. I mean really? That little bottle of water I will get if I take a nice AC bus to Mysore is just expected to.. I don’t know..evaporate or something?  I’ll have you know I was also attacked by a praying mantis on one rest stop! (NOT FUN!) and okay this is only in the case when you are actually lucky enough to encounter a restroom! Several places don’t even have one!! I mean what the hell is that about? men have their back up options (YUK)…but women.. how is this not a basic right or need?? Enough said!

So while my sanitation woes will never cease.. the next part of my ranting is dedicated to the three million street vendors I encountered during that trip (exaggeration, but it felt like three million). I believe that they have as a group made it IMPOSSIBLE for people to take a tour of any place without having their faces stuffed with some food! What happened to taking in the sights? Instead you’re taking in anything from bhutta to some bizarre smelling papaya! Basically anything on a push cart (read E coli breeding ground). Now while eating may be tolerable if you ignore everyone with you, it’s the after effects that are the real trouble! Most monuments and tourist attractions are now unrecognizable under the pile of garbage that graces its surface… let’s talk about Brindavan Gardens here. Oh My GOD!!! North gate, South Gate (ummm can you tell the difference really?), where from the parking lot right up to the fountain ( I have a whole other opinion about this) is packed with OBNOXIOUS street vendors… bhajjis, bondas, gobi manchurian, popcorn, BHUTTA, smelly papaya..the list is endless… and the Gardens inside and out are barely noticeable to a visitor! Even if I had to come to these gardens having starved for a day, I would not under any circumstances want to eat, smell or even see if can help any of these horrifying delights these vendors were passing off as food.

So they are not only completely violating every last inch of space available here, the waste left behind by the hordes of people feasting on these things is inexplicable… it’s just filth everywhere the eye can reach, and finally the ‘garden’ is no more… I really went with above average expectations and came back feeling grossly disappointed and in need for a good hot bath!

Now before I leave this talk of Brindavan gardens I also want to talk about this musical fountain show here. At the risk of sounding horrible.. can anyone tell me what the fuss is about? Because I did not get it. The fountain rose to max height of 5 feet, at which point blue, red and green lights shone through the water to the tune of an Usha Uthup song. Has television and Singapore (that's where I last saw a good one) spoilt me? Or was that bad? I made some pretty lousy jokes while watching this show – not to be repeated here! But I was really let down by this… really let down… people were gathered in that gallery area only to be met with something, that in my personal opinion could have been done way better and with some heart!! It’s like they are not even trying.. there were people from everywhere gathered there, eating sticky ice cream (inviting ants to where I was sitting by the way) hooting and shouting and totally building up my expectations…and then there was that! If you happened to be staring at the dam behind the garden or watching the sunset you could very easily MISS THE ENTIRE show…

I think this stems from the fact that as ‘India’ we are almost aspiring to keep low standards. I will not believe ‘This is India, it can’t be helped!’ or ‘you can’t do anything about it!’… NO! I’m not saying spend a ton of money of things like fountains, but take measures to see that even what you do offer, is done well. Taking pride in doing it right (even if it is a musical fountain show) and making people have a decent experience without having to wade through garbage should be the top of the list item of this tourist attraction. Yet all that entry fee is literally eaten up.. It’s a pity really. A shame actually. Now I will also say the a majority of these people visiting tourist attractions in India are to blame for the filth. Its part of the low standard experience right? this theory is very ‘chicken and egg’ – so see I am not sure which came first but if the standards of the attraction are maintained so low, people do not have the respect they should for the surrounding area, and so they misbehave, litter.. and all that OR since people have been so hardwired to believe the bare minimum is the best these tourist attractions give them exactly that. Either way one ‘encourages’ the other, till finally every garden, museum or statue will be sure to deliver only the most underwhelming experience to any visitor.. siigghhhh…. It’s really not easy to be blind to this! It’s something I would love to help address even, but I have absolutely NO IDEA where I would even start.

On the journey back to the city late that night I thought about the things I had seen – the Mysore Palace, St. Phelomena’s Church, Chamundi Hill, Tipu’s fort and Brindavan gardens.. it was just okay for me. While they all were packed with promise of good views and great history, the experience had been diminished by the lack of respect for all these places and the explosion of street vendors and the waste they left in their wake! I guess the only good thing by then was is I did not have to use the loo any more.. (take that praying mantis! <shudder>)..

If you had to describe or rather introduce yourself (with a small description) to a complete stranger, how would you do it? Would you state your qualifications? Would you tell them where you worked or study, or would you let your clothes/body/attitude... whatever… do the talking? Would you size up this stranger first and very quickly state in your opinion what would create a good first impression of you for them? Or would you force on them, like many many people do, a call-centre-pizza-home-delivery-phone-order-taker style rendition (elevator pitch version) of your resume till you have either shocked or obnoxiously shouted at them your reasonably (un)impressive list of credentials no matter who they are or how much(little) they care?

I judge everyone who answered yes to any of the above…but that would also mean I judge myself. I DO NOT consciously do any of these things (perhaps because at some level I am not yet satisfied with my credentials, I’ll get to this.. or NOT) but because if I were to hear an impressive intro I would well… be impressed. I am seriously starting to wonder, what about anyone should really matter to me…and why we feel the need to have a standard  system for impressions and likability of people in most set ups..

I began thinking this early last week when I stumbled upon certain websites, videos and conversations on the authority and/or superiority complex people anywhere tend to suffer from and how easy it has become to judge or assess anyone on meaningless things!… and above all other feelings I think the one that really stood out in me was real annoyance! I then began to realize that this negative emotion is really a product of being subject to this from every corner, even those you’d never suspect, till finally all you are doing is making snap judgments based on semi facts about people and things that will be meaningless in a day to day context.

But then this impression based judgment extends to everything—I mean literally everything! From buying toothpaste to your choice of car, or why you don’t get a job you are qualified to do (you did not ‘market’ yourself i.e give them what they want to hear), politicians in power all over the world… or who you are friends with..the list is endless. So wait I am getting ahead of myself here.. I’ll go back to the original problem. I was considering altering the way I would introduce myself to people from now on—I would say ‘ Hi I’m Shruti! I love Chinese food, I hate cockroaches and I can’t understand what the big deal is about Lady Gaga’… I imagine this will get a laugh out of friend types (one would hope), but if I said this at a job interview or to someone a generation or two ahead of me in life (sum total of work, family...) I would be looked at like I was crazed! But why… doesn’t this introduction say something about me? That I did not sound like every other 20 something professional, makes me non-conformist with integrity, that I like Chinese implies I am global citizen (errmm.. pushing it here)…that I dislike cockroaches suggests a strong sense of cleanliness for my surroundings (always good to have) and that I can’t understand the hype about Lady Gaga shows I am a thinking individual and will not go with herd mentality and would never EVER wear a dress made of meat :). Now isn’t that something? If instead I had belted out my professional credentials (not necessarily qualifications that would blow your mind) I would be assessed by that and my credibility and capability will be wholly determined by what I HAVE done…and not what I CAN DO or WHAT I AM! Potential is not constant in my opinion, so if you are going to take my existing achievements/state as an indication of who I am and what I can do.. well it may not pan out exactly as expected and exactly what gave them any authority to do that! Wait so this theory is complex and I am grossly oversimplifying here, because I would hardly want people in big ‘life changing’ jobs to be hired based on subjective views… so let me apply this to everything outside of the corporate world.

I met someone recently who wanted to talk about people by the amount (in Rupees) they are worth. And then not to sound THAT terrible talk about how ‘humble’ they are despite being worth so much (ummm humility is in her opinion not openly flaunting money)… people constantly compare Indians from various regions.. skin colour, eye colour, hair colour..brains and beauty.. how smart they are, how kind they are. All based on one small glimpse… I guess this has gotten to me! That people widely regard themselves as authorities on OTHER people and what a set of features in them represents , really pisses me off! Now I thought about this a little before publishing and decided that while judging is TOTALLY necessary in many contexts –picking an employer/employee, a life partner and schools, etc. it does not mean that definitions are written in stone..

Now another funny thing about judgmental people is that once we encounter them we NEVER ever again see them as anything but being judgmental.. so in a way they have perpetuated a judging cycle!!! I think I am losing the plot here.. so I am going to steer this back to my initial point.. I want to figure out what about a person should or should not help me determine if I will ever talk to them again and not go with what everyone has now been trained to believe are the only parameters… and I want to start consciously applying this to all spheres where I interact with people..  in the way I communicate- start impressing upon people an unexpected ‘first impression’ of myself as a survey of my theory. I also want to not react when met with a less than enthusiastic response to my range of introductions. I am not sure how the systems we have in place today came to be… why where I work or how much I make or what my next step is.. Should make any difference to my neighbours cousin twice removed..I am actually so insulted when asked that question by someone I barely know! I want to make sure I in my own tiny way am never carried away by a walking CV or great looks or anything that is neatly packaged. I think there is something to be said for what all you do to create a ‘neat little’ perception of yourself.. and its in all that you do and say to create it,  that REALLY says something about you and how you look at other people. You can make a millions, have studied in the best schools and drive the fanciest cars (perception I’m working hard and living big) but if you throw your gum wrapper in the elevator or talk to your nanny like your own them or don’t even say hello before you ask me where I work… I judge you for that!  Because what that says is about you is much more that your college degree!

I think I also want to be more conscious about what something unsaid says about a person than what is said.. so I’m going to give lil miss ‘how much are they worth’ another shot… this time I’ll see what choice comments she will have about South Indians and their ‘looks’(ummm no points for guessing where she is from) and read between the lines… maybe somewhere I will discover she is not a bad as she sounds! I also might add that this post is terribly random and a week too late.. but I stuck with it..says something about me? (I think not :))